Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Primary School

We experienced our first foray into the procedural quagmire known as the 2010 Democratic Primary election this week. Mr. Lawyer was appointed the presiding election judge of our precinct and long story shorter, let's just say here's what I've learned:

Elections start early. And by that I mean EARLY. Mr. Lawyer got up at 4:30 (and by that I mean, of course he hit the snooze until 5) to be there to set up at 6:00am. Between several clerks calling the house before 6:30, Mr. Lawyer calling the house at 6:30 to find out why he was alone, and little children who normally sleep until 7:45 on a school day creeping downstairs far earlier wondering why the phone was ringing, it wasn't exactly my dream morning. My dream morning, of course, would have included some actual dreaming.

Democrats are disorganized even on the lowest possible level. They may have some great ideas, but I don't know how they can expect to pass even the smallest of their goals when they can't even figure out where their election officials should turn their votes in to or how many clerks one is allowed to hire for each location.

Republicans (located across the gym) are, by the limited sample we saw, exclusively white, usually aging. And apparently, for some inexplicable reason, they seem to like Rick Perry. He has a great head of hair, I will concede. Other than that I don't see the appeal. Republicans, please feel free to fill me in on why he's worth keeping. Secessionists need not comment.

Highschoolers can legally miss school to serve as election clerks without being old enough to vote so long as they have their parent's and their principal's written permission, but otherwise you need to be over 18 and registered to vote in order to work the election. More people should take advantage of this, assuming your election judge can figure out how many people you are allowed to hire in the first place.

Elections do not pay well. Of course they don't - it's $8.50 an hour no matter your position (if you are in high school or college, still, it's not too shabby for some pretty darn easy work). However, if you are the head guy, you need to keep your clerks happy and most importantly on the premises - this often involves sending out for their lunch, bringing in breakfast, and keeping snacks and cold drinks on hand for your staff. Given the expense, we may have broken even at $0.00 gain/loss. We didn't do this for the money, which is definitely a good thing. And there are leftover muffins. Wait...were. Mmmm.

At least the Republican robocalls will cease...for now. I'm still not sure if they are trying to convert us or they think we already vote Republican, but I received eleventy billion of these calls in the last two weeks either directly from Republicans or "conservative" groups looking to sway us to vote in their favor. Same with the mailings - all righty propaganda. Why? Save your money and spend it on those that are likely to read it.* Exercise some fiscal conservation, eh?

Oh, and somehow Facebook decided that I'm a "real"** conservative too. Seriously, Facebook? Here's an excerpt from my FB page recently demonstrating how well their targeted marketing actually targets:

Oh, and Facebook apparently thinks I live in Austin, am a "real" conservative, and need a divorce lawyer. Um, I think their targeted marketing program needs some fine-tuning.
February 25 at 8:50pm ·
Comment ·Like · View Feedback (11)Hide Feedback (11)

Margaret M.:
I have bought some of their targeted advertising for work. Miserable failure.
February 25 at 9:01pm ·

OK, right now, Mitt Romney wants me to "join his team" and I'm being offered a cupcake coupon for Austin?
February 25 at 9:07pm ·

Sarah S.
I get stuff for Phoenix. I've never even been to Phoenix, and have no desire to go
February 25 at 9:09pm ·

Margaret M.
My ads are slightly more well targeted. Except the one about Obama wanting moms to go back to school with a woman nursing her baby. That's really not me. And does Obama care if I go to school or not?
February 25 at 9:11pm ·

Sarah S.
I've got ZooWorld, Phoenix Real Estate. and a Video Game Design school in Arizona.
February 25 at 9:13pm ·

Now they think I'm "Pregnant in Austin?" No and no. And Obama does want me to go back to school, too, but I don't think that's a political one. Phoenix, eh?
February 25 at 9:23pm ·

Margaret M.
we could do this all night.... Now i have one that says "as a military wife, I can qualify for free online classes". That would mean Mr. M is in the military (no) or I have another husband (SURPRISE, HONEY!!!)
February 25 at 9:25pm ·

Sarah S.
Get Thin in 2010 (Maybe I like being fat. Personal much?) Phoenix 1 day Coupons, Get Flirty Online Dating. (Now you want me to attempt dating after calling me fat? I have a complex now tyvm)
February 25 at 9:29pm ·

Women aren't in the military, silly. Now, support your troops!

I'm being invited to a Mandy Moore dance class in Dallas next month. That is off base on *so* many counts.
February 25 at 9:29pm ·

Margaret M.
Last one - "Puppies are awesome" with a link for an online scavenger hunt and ANOTHER stupid online college.

WTH? Are they thinking I'm dumb? Now I have a complex....jerks.

Fun stuff. Sorry about the lapse in blogging - I've got lots going on (let's all hope there's not a run off in 30 days!) and not enough time to get it all done in, but I've got loads of ideas swirling around in my head....hopefully I can get at least a few of them typed up soon.

*And by that, of course I mean "read it with a straight face."

** as opposed to imaginary?


  1. Hey! I'm not white, or aging!!! ok, I might be aging but not quite what you're talking about! And you've got me on Mr. Goodhair. I think EVERYONE is fed up with him, but I don't think anyone has stepped up to prove any better. And how are you getting all my conservative mail?? I have voted R for years and hardly get any mail. The one thing I do get is the Link Letter and I'm happy to let someone use that for the bottom of their birdcage or hamster box....

  2. It was admittedly a small sample, though we do live in quite a diverse area, judging by the kids at the local elementary school. Perhaps it should be revised to say "Almost exclusively aging and white, except that one hot young hispanic woman." Better?

    I'm not sure....pretty sure Mr. Lawyer had something to do with it since it's mostly (but not all) in his name. I could have covered the living room floor in the big postcard-type mailings we got over the last month!

    How do you feel about Bill White - I know several moderate Republicans leaning his way. He seems sensible to me without being polarizing.


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