Primary School

We experienced our first foray into the procedural quagmire known as the 2010 Democratic Primary election this week. Mr. Lawyer was appointed the presiding election judge of our precinct and long story shorter, let's just say here's what I've learned:

Elections start early. And by that I mean EARLY. Mr. Lawyer got up at 4:30 (and by that I mean, of course he hit the snooze until 5) to be there to set up at 6:00am. Between several clerks calling the house before 6:30, Mr. Lawyer calling the house at 6:30 to find out why he was alone, and little children who normally sleep until 7:45 on a school day creeping downstairs far earlier wondering why the phone was ringing, it wasn't exactly my dream morning. My dream morning, of course, would have included some actual dreaming.

Democrats are disorganized even on the lowest possible level. They may have some great ideas, but I don't know how they can expect to pass even the smallest of their goals when they can't even figure out where their election officials should turn their votes in to or how many clerks one is allowed to hire for each location.

Republicans (located across the gym) are, by the limited sample we saw, exclusively white, usually aging. And apparently, for some inexplicable reason, they seem to like Rick Perry. He has a great head of hair, I will concede. Other than that I don't see the appeal. Republicans, please feel free to fill me in on why he's worth keeping. Secessionists need not comment.

Highschoolers can legally miss school to serve as election clerks without being old enough to vote so long as they have their parent's and their principal's written permission, but otherwise you need to be over 18 and registered to vote in order to work the election. More people should take advantage of this, assuming your election judge can figure out how many people you are allowed to hire in the first place.

Elections do not pay well. Of course they don't - it's $8.50 an hour no matter your position (if you are in high school or college, still, it's not too shabby for some pretty darn easy work). However, if you are the head guy, you need to keep your clerks happy and most importantly on the premises - this often involves sending out for their lunch, bringing in breakfast, and keeping snacks and cold drinks on hand for your staff. Given the expense, we may have broken even at $0.00 gain/loss. We didn't do this for the money, which is definitely a good thing. And there are leftover muffins. Wait...were. Mmmm.

At least the Republican robocalls will cease...for now. I'm still not sure if they are trying to convert us or they think we already vote Republican, but I received eleventy billion of these calls in the last two weeks either directly from Republicans or "conservative" groups looking to sway us to vote in their favor. Same with the mailings - all righty propaganda. Why? Save your money and spend it on those that are likely to read it.* Exercise some fiscal conservation, eh?

Oh, and somehow Facebook decided that I'm a "real"** conservative too. Seriously, Facebook? Here's an excerpt from my FB page recently demonstrating how well their targeted marketing actually targets:

Me.
Oh, and Facebook apparently thinks I live in Austin, am a "real" conservative, and need a divorce lawyer. Um, I think their targeted marketing program needs some fine-tuning.
February 25 at 8:50pm ·
Comment ·Like · View Feedback (11)Hide Feedback (11)

Margaret M.:
I have bought some of their targeted advertising for work. Miserable failure.
February 25 at 9:01pm ·

Me.
OK, right now, Mitt Romney wants me to "join his team" and I'm being offered a cupcake coupon for Austin?
February 25 at 9:07pm ·

Sarah S.
I get stuff for Phoenix. I've never even been to Phoenix, and have no desire to go
February 25 at 9:09pm ·

Margaret M.
My ads are slightly more well targeted. Except the one about Obama wanting moms to go back to school with a woman nursing her baby. That's really not me. And does Obama care if I go to school or not?
February 25 at 9:11pm ·

Sarah S.
I've got ZooWorld, Phoenix Real Estate. and a Video Game Design school in Arizona.
February 25 at 9:13pm ·

Me.
Now they think I'm "Pregnant in Austin?" No and no. And Obama does want me to go back to school, too, but I don't think that's a political one. Phoenix, eh?
February 25 at 9:23pm ·

Margaret M.
we could do this all night.... Now i have one that says "as a military wife, I can qualify for free online classes". That would mean Mr. M is in the military (no) or I have another husband (SURPRISE, HONEY!!!)
February 25 at 9:25pm ·

Sarah S.
Get Thin in 2010 (Maybe I like being fat. Personal much?) Phoenix 1 day Coupons, Get Flirty Online Dating. (Now you want me to attempt dating after calling me fat? I have a complex now tyvm)
February 25 at 9:29pm ·

Me:
Women aren't in the military, silly. Now, support your troops!

I'm being invited to a Mandy Moore dance class in Dallas next month. That is off base on *so* many counts.
February 25 at 9:29pm ·

Margaret M.
Last one - "Puppies are awesome" with a link for an online scavenger hunt and ANOTHER stupid online college.

WTH? Are they thinking I'm dumb? Now I have a complex....jerks.

Fun stuff. Sorry about the lapse in blogging - I've got lots going on (let's all hope there's not a run off in 30 days!) and not enough time to get it all done in, but I've got loads of ideas swirling around in my head....hopefully I can get at least a few of them typed up soon.

*And by that, of course I mean "read it with a straight face."

** as opposed to imaginary?

Dear Local Republican Party:

Thank you so much for the multitude of recent telephone calls lately. Mr. Jared Woodfill, in particular - so nice to hear your robocall. I really do like touching base with you on a daily basis - or should I say with your grating recorded message?

I have three children ages five and under and two of them still nap. Heck, I still nap on occasion. I think it's adorable when they wake screaming and crabby to your calls. You see, I'm on the Texas no call list and the Federal Do Not Call list, so I don't get many other calls other than humans who actually wish to speak with me and care what I think instead of calling to dictate what I should believe.

However, I realize you have the First Amendment right to annoy me in my own home, so it's not actually the calls per se which concern me.

I see you have set your caller ID information to read the name of the county in which I reside rather than "Republican Robocall" or some other more honest label. I can only assume that is because when people see "Republican Robocall" on their caller ID, they ignore the call altogether, yet when they see a call from what deceptively appears to be a government entity, they snap to it and answer the phone.

I know I do - in part because family members work for that government entity and I also do occasional work for cases in the county. While I can't imagine a court would call me at home, when I see the caller ID, I answer it just in case - you never want to ignore a call from a court.

So, dear Local Republican Party, do I think you have set up the caller ID information like this intentionally? Of course - it's just naive to think otherwise. Do I think that's deceptive, even a little dirty to con people into answering their phones? It's not exactly Bernie Madoff, but yes, it's dishonest to be sure.

Strangely, I never get automated calls of any kind from the Democrats. I'm not sure if they are so disorganized that they can't put them together, they realize people hate getting automated calls so they put their money into other activities, they can mysteriously tell that they probably already have my vote, or I simply didn't make the calling list. Fine with me - keep me off. I doubt an automated political call has ever changed someone's mind, but I can tell you it certainly wouldn't change mine.

In conclusion, Local Republican Party, cut it out, for Pete's sake - this isn't endearing you to anyone, I assure you. And frankly, you really need to work on being a little more endearing because it's not looking real good right now.

Sincerely,

Me