The following is what Mr. 5yo reported to me on the way home from Kindergarten:
"Today we had College Day and I am going to college to be a MOUNTAIN CLIMBER!"
"They sent [Tommy] out of the class and he has to go to the Naughty Boy Class every day now to learn to keep his hands to himself and I hope it works because he's really naughty and one day the police might come to take him to JAIL he's so naughty."
"They serve JUNK FOOD at lunch and those kids are not going to grow. I'm glad I bring my lunch so I can eat my vegetables."
"I'm the goodest boy in kindergarten EVERY day."
"Guess what? I didn't wipe my mouth or nose on my shirt even once!"
"Mommy Mommy Mommy - Mrs. Simmons has a wife and his name is Mr. Simmons and it's his BIRTHDAY today!"
I'm not so sure everything we learned everything we needed to know in kindergarten after all, but it's a start.